Reading (your?) holiday letters inspired me to speed-write this.
Given how late this is and the cat-herding-esque nature of getting other family members to write and/or approve an official family letter, this is a solo effort / personal letter.
Here are my (very unofficial) 2024 Lavin family awards…
Most stressful process
2024 began in the middle of college application season. The stress and exhaustion is real. While taking a full slate of high school classes and extracurriculars, Daryl was simultaneously writing and editing a bazillion school-specific essays asking him to explain why University XYZ should admit him (and traveling to audition for trombone studios). For more, see my May blog post on “College Admissions Insanity”.
Best family vacation
For years, we’ve either not taken family vacations or driven somewhere, like to and from Ann Arbor, to visit various colleges.
Pre-COVID, I was planning a family trip to The Netherlands and Belgium. That never happened… until June 2024! We finally made it to Europe and loved every minute.
We had excellent weather and managed to leave early enough to beat the crowds, peak prices, and oppressive summer heat. We used Rotterdam as our initial base, from which we made day trips to Utrecht, Gouda, The Hague, and Amsterdam. We then relocated to Antwerp, then moved to Ghent (from which we made a day trip to Bruges), before finishing our trip in Brussels.
I took a million photos and intended to share blog posts but still haven’t, largely because I took so many amazing photos that I can’t decide where to start and what to leave out.
Highlights (for me) included:
- Spending nearly two weeks living together, traveling together, eating together, and joking together as a family. With the kids leading busy high school lives full of activities and friends, it was special to just do everything together.
- The Museum Plantin-Moretus in Antwerp:
- “The Plantin-Moretus family began their printing office in the 16th century. 400 years on, our museum is still kept in the original house and workshops. Museum Plantin-Moretus is the only museum in the world to be inscribed in the UNESCO World Heritage List.”
- I saw and learned so many amazing things, including that the printing press was almost immediately used to spread disinformation and misinformation. Much of their printing business was religious in nature.
- In 1569, they published Johannes Goropius Becanus’ giant book titled “Origines Antwerpianae” that the museum summarizes as: “Becanus writes a history of Antwerp in which he claims that Adam, the first man on Earth, spoke Dutch, or ‘Antwerp.’”
- “Plantin buys his letter sets from the best designers of the day, such as Robert Granjon, Claude Garamont… The modern Times New Roman is based on Granjon’s work. To prevent other printers from using his exclusive letter types, Plantin buys the punches and matrices too. They constitute the wealth of his company.”
- The Escher in the Palace museum in The Hague
- Watching and meeting some of the world’s greatest trombonists at the Slide Factory trombone festival:
- I love the Slide Monsters, who rarely hold concerts because they live on three different continents and hold other jobs (like principal trombone of the New York Philharmonic), but we got to see them live! (Example performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obO27mwWmas)
- We also heard several wonderful performances by a young Ukrainian trombonist, Polina Tarasenko. (Example performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwHrLmWsjcw)
- The world premiere of Jeckyll & Hyde performed by The Marine Band of the Royal Netherlands Navy with trombonists Marshall Gilkes and Brandt Attema. I wish the magnificent performance were available online. I can find only this short clip.
- The Belfry of Ghent, 300 feet high and built in the 1300s! I was scared at the top and couldn’t imagine building such a tall structure so many centuries ago!
- The incredibly beautiful old architecture of Ghent, Bruges, Antwerp, and Brussels’ Grand-Place.
- Wandering the old streets and canals in various Dutch cities. The architecture wasn’t as stunning as the medieval buildings that survived the wars in Belgium, but it was quite lovely.
Best present
Many years ago, I set my gold wedding ring aside while washing my hands in a public bathroom while attending my grandmother’s funeral. When I realized I had left it there, I ran back, but it was gone. I’ve not had a wedding ring since. But Yingmei got me a beautiful replacement band – a mix of gold and black titanium – from David Yurman, the lovely jewelry company where her sister Yingzi has long worked (and gets a discount). Especially appreciated as we’ll celebrate our 30th anniversary this June. (How has she put up with me so long?!?!?)
Best move
This year, my mom sold her large house on the lake and downsized to a smaller house in a lovely non-lake neighborhood, eliminating her mortgage. She has already met some of her new neighbors, has retained all her existing friends (by moving only miles from her former home), and is loving how close she is to both the beautiful Cain Center for the Arts and the Northern Regional Recreation Center. Mom can walk to both and walks daily. (When she visited us post-Christmas, Ying, mom, and I enjoyed a daily three-mile walk at a 16:30-ish minute/mile pace. …I never measure my walks, but mom measures her sleep and exercise on her Apple Watch.) She enjoys attending adult education classes in Davidson and lunches with friends.
Most appreciated help
My mom’s aforementioned move would not have happened without the dramatic intervention of my amazing cousin, Keith Hefner.
Tremendous thanks to Keith for taking time to drive to Charlotte (from New Jersey TWICE!), inject much-needed urgency, tremendously accelerate the pace of prepping the house for sale, and nudge/guilt/“threaten” my mom into doing the many things that needed to happen to get the house on the market. Keith had previously helped my mom in other ways, and he just hosted her for a night en route back to Charlotte and they began planning a late 2025 (?) trip to visit my grandfather’s childhood roots in Scotland.
Most stressful decision
Thirteen schools wound up accepting Daryl (!!!) but gave him only 4-6 weeks to choose (decision deadlines varied). We didn’t have time to visit any West Coast schools to which he was admitted. UCLA was especially tempting because it has the very best food in the country, great weather, and a surprisingly good housing situation, so Yingmei and I weren’t too disappointed we couldn’t visit, since we preferred he stay closer… (though driving to Pittsburgh takes as long as flying to LA).
We especially loved Amherst and Swarthmore for their small classes, undergraduate focus, abundant research opportunities, beautiful campuses, great facilities, student-focused professors, close student-faculty interaction, and freedom to take courses across the curriculum and easily change majors. Both had large science centers and beautiful new dining/commons areas (well, Amherst’s is still under construction).
Yingmei and Daryl flew to Atlanta and loved Georgia Tech. They reported the campus is beautiful and car-free, aside from shuttle buses, and the school impressed them both. Daryl would have loved watching big-time college football and playing trombone in the Yellow Jacket Marching Band. (He also got into both schools that played for the 2024 national championship, Michigan and U Washington, but wisely prioritized more important criteria.)
Daryl chose Carnegie Mellon, which promised him the ability to study Electrical & Computer Engineering (ECE) and trombone at a high level. (Most schools promised whatever major he had applied for – at various schools he was admitted for physics, data science, engineering, and trombone – and the possibility of doing a double major or dual degree but with no guarantee and often with bureaucratic hurdles, esp. at state schools.) CMU’s classes are much smaller than those at Michigan, Georgia Tech, etc. but significantly larger than at Amherst or Swarthmore.
Shortest commute
Every day, I feel blessed to work from home. When my alarm blares at 8:30, I run up the stairs, log into my laptop, and start my day coding. I left my previous job at TD Securities eighteen months ago (after 4 1/2 years of mostly remote work there) after they told me to start working in Manhattan even though my team was spread across Singapore, Canada, Ireland, and the New York area. I love not wasting several hours a day stressfully commuting! I especially love the opportunity to walk outside before sunset.
Longest commute
Though I don’t travel for work 362 days a year, once a year, my company requires everyone to gather together for a few days. I dread traveling, but it’s good to meet my colleagues. At month’s end, we’re gathering in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. (Last year, we gathered in Scottsdale, AZ.) In 2024, after we accepted VC funding, I interviewed many programmers and we hired a substantially larger team. I’ll soon meet for the first time our new colleagues who live in Mexico, Spain, Germany, Kenya, Vancouver, and London (originally from Sweden).
Best town band performance
Our town holds a fabulous July 4th fireworks show. Before the show, the town band performs – wearing bow ties and straw hats – two hours of traditional marches. These past two years, Daryl has played trombone, and the show has been a joy to watch/hear. This year, the announcer declared the band – tagline “Entertaining New Canaan CT since 1831. Second oldest band in the USA” – had never sounded better. I was focused on the small-but-fabulous trombone section, and they did indeed sound great.
You can see a smiling Daryl at https://www.instagram.com/newcanaantownband/!
He also joined the band for their annual Christmas Eve performance.
Saddest non-trombone sound
The official sad trombone sound is “womp womp womp.” (This audio clip on Youtube has nearly 10 million “views”!)
But the true saddest trombone sound is when your fabulous trombonist leaves for college and daily practice is replaced by silence. I love listening to our young man practice, so his absence this fall was difficult.
Best concert
I’ve watched countless performances by the New Orleans-based traditional jazz band “Tuba Skinny” on Youtube over the years (example performance), so I was thrilled they performed in nearby Ridgefield in August. Even better, it was a free outdoor concert on a nice weather evening. Attended with some friends who also love “Tuba Skinny,” which made it even better.
Best concert series
In November, I discovered there’s a live jazz concert series in Westport. And they have fabulous musicians. I went to the concerts by Steve Davis, David Hazeltine, and Michael Mossman, each of which was truly great. I brought a friend or two to two of those and hope to share this hidden gem with more friends as I become a semi-regular. It’s held many Thursdays in a nice VFW and offers an optional catered dinner. If you live in Fairfield County, check out their upcoming shows. The man who organizes the series and frequently plays saxophone (fabulously well) is also a rabbi!
Best athlete
Lia made the varsity field hockey team this fall! Since she skipped a grade years ago, she’s a junior but chronologically a sophomore, and in this town many parents hold their children back, so making the varsity team as a 15-year-old is an achievement. She really enjoyed her time bonding with her teammates. They had many team dinners and other fun events.
Best election result
No winner
Most appreciated college frill for parents
I wasn’t able to drop Daryl off at CMU in August because I had recently had hernia surgery and feared a long, bumpy car ride. I also couldn’t attend family weekend this fall while Yingmei was visiting her parents in China and I stayed home with Lia. Mercifully, CMU broadcast some of Daryl’s concerts on Youtube, and some of his hockey games were broadcast on LiveBarn. So we were able to see him in action some throughout his first semester.
Best first-semester college experience
The first half of freshman year went great (aside from the astronomical tuition, housing, and food bill!).
Daryl enjoyed playing club hockey and got more ice time than in high school. (His senior year team was stacked… going nearly undefeated and losing a close state championship match.)
He grew as a trombonist and more-than-survived his challenging music theory-type solfège and eurythmics classes. He’s studying with Peter Sullivan, principal trombone of The Pittsburgh Symphony for 25 years.
He did great in his intro to electrical & computer engineering (ECE) course.
He made many friends.
His parents are thrilled he’s enjoying working hard and that CMU culture doesn’t revolve around alcohol, frats, and partying.
Daryl is so happy at CMU that he encouraged his sister to apply. Lia’s not yet convinced, as she hopes to avoid “nerd schools.” But students change their minds as they move through the college process and learn more about themselves and the various schools, so who knows? Only after visiting CMU several times did Daryl really fall in love with it.
Best volunteer work
Lia was very busy this summer teaching ESL (English as a Second Language) courses to adults in Stamford. She really enjoys this, and her students seem to really appreciate her. She also has been teaching underprivileged kids in Norwalk.
Unfortunately, during the school year she’s so busy that she has limited time for teaching.
Fortunately, in March she’ll turn 16 and become eligible for a learner’s permit, which will make everything easier. :-)
Best life hack
Best nursing home
After living with us nearly 17 years, Yingmei’s parents wanted to return to China and have been living in a five-star nursing home in Shanghai. They can freely wander the spacious grounds, which include a large lovely outdoor space, a theater, and an on-site physician. They have someone who helps them, and they can get haircuts in their room. Sadly, Yingmei’s mother fell and has been bedridden for the past few months. Yingmei and her sister traveled to China this fall to visit their parents and nearby relatives.
Best book
Books are like puppies… You can’t pick a “best” one because there are so many great ones. But here’s a list of books I finished this year.
Favorite Supreme Court ruling
No winner
Most natural talent
Lia leads the clarinet section of her high school band, played in the orchestra pit alongside professional musicians in March’s musical “The Drowsy Chaperone,” and recently crushed her audition to be a “Clarinet 1” in Connecticut’s Western Region High School (Music) Festival. Their concert is January 18 in Wilton, CT. Lia also made Western Region last year, despite clarinet taking a back seat to her many other activities.
Best streaming service
I’m a big fan of Apple TV+, especially their sci-fi. Shows I’ve enjoyed binging this year include: “Silo,” “Slow Horses,” “Lessons in Chemistry,” “Mythic Quest,” “Shrinking,” “The Morning Show,” “Masters of the Air,” “Dark Matter,” For All Mankind," and “Foundation.”
I’m super excited “Severance” season 2 arrives January 17th, “Mythic Quest” season 4 on January 29th, and “Side Quest” March 26th!
Non-Apple TV+ honorable mentions: I’ve nearly completed “Netflix”’s “A Man on the Inside,” starring (Carnegie Mellon acting graduate) Ted Danson. I found it charming and at times quite poignant on the topic of aging and death.
And Star Wars series “Andor” is one of my favorite shows ever (partly for its flawed “good guys” and relatable “bad guys”), and season 2 finally arrives on Disney+ April 22nd!
Best out-of-town visit
This category’s a tie! My mom drove up from North Carolina after Christmas and stayed with us nearly a week. It was a great visit. We also loved that Daryl flew back twice this fall (for fall and Thanksgiving breaks) and again from mid-December through mid-January. And Yingmei’s sister visited us from New Jersey sporadically throughout the year, and each visit was fun.
We enjoy hosting visiting friends, so please let us know if you’re passing through Connecticut!
Best climate news
No winner
Best video
In mid-December, Daryl returned home and promptly recorded a fun, complex “Jingle Bells” arrangement – with six tenor trombone parts and two bass trombone parts! – on a trombone his fabulous trombone teacher of seven years lent him so he wouldn’t have to lug his back and forth from Pittsburgh. (Thanks, Mr. Sanders!)
I don’t have permission to share it here, but he has allowed us to share it with many of you. If you would like to see it, please reach out.
Wishing you all a wonderful 2025!